the story of faithfulness.

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A trip home won’t be complete without a trip to san diego hills memorial to visit my dad’s grave. To me, it isn’t just a tradition we do every time I come home. It is a visit I am actually looking forward to. So today after church, we went there with most of the Subi’s. The traffic wasn’t all that bad, and considering the horrendous thunderstorms happening these past few days, the weather was perfect. And so we went.

Today, I was reminded of one of the greatest characteristics of God, that He is faithful. I was reminded of His faithfulness in my nineteen years of life thus far, and man, you have no idea how many times have I forgotten about those. I’ll tell you about this story of faithfulness in particular.

Over three years ago, I lost my dad due to a sudden heart attack. It was something unexpected, as we were never cautioned by any symptoms of serious sickness. Let’s just say we were unprepared to face it. Ask me three years ago, I would say I could never imagine living without a father in my teenage/young adults years. Of course, at that time, my family was faced with all the uncertainties there are. I mean, it sure is not easy to lose the father figure in the family – a head, a leader, a protector, and just about everything in between. But I guess it has been three years past, and we still kept on going. I thought to myself, what keeps us going? Maybe it’s the loved ones around us – the big famjam of Subianto. Or maybe it’s the busy routines each one of us has. But if that is just it, it will run out. I guess it is too shallow for a good reason. Three years ago, when I was faced with the loss, I was faced with many uncertainties. But in the midst of all uncertainties in life, I can hold on to one thing that is certain. God. And I believe that He is faithful. I hold on to the fact that He is a faithful God who will not let go. Who will not let me settle for anything less than His perfection. I’d be lying if I tell you I don’t miss my dad. I miss him, BIG time. Right now, I can at least say for myself that I am still standing. And not just simply standing aimlessly like I am at a loss of energy. I am standing firm full of gladness and sureness in knowing that the source of all that is He, and that He knows it all, and that He is forever faithful.

It is so easy for us to cover our eyes and plainly think that the simple things in life are the norms of the way of life – rather than an evidence of God’s faithfulness and God’s love for us. It is true that many times, when we are faced with troubles and unpleasing circumstances, only then will we realize that the daily little things we take for granted, like breathing, sleeping under a roof, or eating three to four times a day, are not common at all. Yes, those things are all outcome of God’s grace and faithfulness in our lives. I mean, you never really prayed to God and ask Him to let us breathe for the day, do you? If God based His faithfulness on ours, we’ll be gone by now. Haha. But no. He remains faithful. Our faithfulness is built around ‘if only’, but God’s faithfulness is built around ‘even if’. God remains faithful even if we are not.

As we close the year of 2014, may we be reminded of His faithfulness in our lives, throughout the year, or even as long as we have lived. Whatever state of life you are in right now, know that He is faithful. Keep holding on to Him, and I guess that is all you will ever need.

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”
Hebrews 10:23

In His Strength,
Kimberly Subianto

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