As I was walking around the aisles of a supermarket (if you don’t know it yet, yes, I love being in a supermarket to just ‘window-shop’ haha), I was already thinking of what I am going to buy online once I get home: a food steamer! At the same time, I am also aware that the kettle that I currently have decided to fail on me all of a sudden. Again, if you don’t know it yet, this situation calls for an immediate action, as I love drinking hot water, especially in a chilly rainy day. So, I made my way to the kitchen/homeware aisle just to see what they have. There is a particular kettle that caught my attention. It has a minimalist stainless steel design that is also detachable, and it will definitely make the perfect kettle for me! (Yes, this is serious stuff.) I thought it would be great to have a kettle of that material to keep my water warm for a longer time, and I would really need it. So I picked it up to check on the price tag.
$40. Then I put it back in the counter. This is what’s going on in my mind: if I spend $40 on the kettle and another $40 on the food steamer I’m planning to buy, it will be too much. Of course, you’ll think that I should just spend my money on the kettle, which I needed more at the moment. But no, I decided to put it back and walk away, thinking that I don’t really need it as much. I ended up not buying the kettle, and instead, got all excited to get back home as I am going to buy my long-awaited steamer. Yeah!
Why am I telling you all this? I know it is not important for you to know Kim’s little adventure in the supermarket. I don’t think so too either. But why do I decide on sharing this? This is why. Just a few mornings ago, as I was having my devotion, I was reminded of something. I was reading Ruth 4 – it’s the story of how Boaz redeemed Ruth and took her as his wife. If you are not familiar with the story, I recommend you to give it a quick read so that what I say from this sentence onwards makes sense. Boaz was going to ask a redeemer to help out Ruth and her mother by buying their field. The redeemer initially agreed to do that, by Boaz continued in saying that he has to take Ruth as his wife as well. The redeemer immediately changed his mind, saying, “I cannot redeem it for myself, lest I impair my own inheritance. Take my right of redemption yourself, for I cannot redeem it.” (v.6) Long story short, Boaz willingly redeemed and took Ruth as his wife instead.
Notice how the redeemer changed his mind immediately when he was told what his act of redemption actually includes. Notice how he backed out right after he knew the real price. The redeemer was concerned that any son born to him and Ruth would share the inheritance already planned for his present children. He was concerned that taking in Ruth would interfere with his initial agenda. He was holding too tightly on what he thinks is best for him and was not ready to let go of his desires.
Just like the ‘redeemer’ in this story, I backed out once I looked at the price tag of the kettle I was interested in buying. I changed my mind immediately when I realized I had to let go of the steamer if I were to get the kettle – I wasn’t willing to let go of what I want for what I needed at that moment. And just like my kettle and steamer story, the same thing happens in our lives. Too many times we hold on WAYYY too tightly to our own desires, our own agenda, and that when we are faced with God’s plan or purpose for our lives, we are not ready to let them go. We fail to surrender what we want for what we really need – because again, it is normally costly, and it hurts to pay the price. We fail to see the beauty of God’s plans in our lives because it opposes to what we have planned and what we thought is best for us. We have the intentions to seek God and His will in our lives, but we do not have enough strength to fight off our desires. Our spirit may be willing, but the flesh is weak (Matthew 26:41). As I was reading the passage, I was rebuked by the many times I listen to my own desires, even when the words that come out of my mouth was “I want to know God’s will in my life”. I was rebuked by the many times I backed out on what He has for me after I checked on the price tag it carries. I was sitting there thinking… Am I really longing to live by His purpose for my life, then? Sometimes it only seems as if I am drawing a circle around my life and letting Him out of the picture. And there I was sitting, reminded of this verse:
For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Isn’t it a beautiful reminder to know that His thoughts are much, much higher than our thoughts? His plans for us as much, much better than what we have planned for ourselves – in fact, it is the only perfect one. It is foolish, I know, that many times we’d like to think that God doesn’t know a thing about what we need in our lives. But no. Let this be a reminder that He is good all the time – even when your current situation is as awful as it is, He is good. Let this be a reminder that yes, it might be costly, it might be difficult to surrender – it is difficult – but know that He is your only source of strength and hope. My prayer for us all is that we may have a hearing heart, and an obeying heart too, a heart that wants to respond to His calling. I pray that we can love God until it hurts that there can be no more hurt, but only more love. I pray that as you read my lengthy post, you can be encouraged in fixing your eyes upon Him. When you expect God to work mightily in your lives, know the price, and be prepared to pay for it. It may hurt, but it will evolve to something beautiful as God pours out love and joy in your life.
Expect Him. Respond to Him. Be amazed.
All In This Together,
PS. I ended up getting the steamer. And Tim apparently has an extra kettle in his crib, so my mornings/chilly nights are not that miserable anymore afterall ❤