beauty in brokenness.

So weeks ago, I posted a photo on my Instagram (@kimberlysubi follow me if you haven’t already!). Here’s what I posted:

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This is a photo of a broken dining plate. Crushed and broken into pieces. Several people came up to me and asked if I purposely broke the plate simply to make a point. Although it would be cool for me to say yes, I would not do that for the #gram. Hahahah. So, no. I did not purposely dropped the plate on the floor to create beautiful cracks on it. In fact, I didn’t even break the plate. My sister did. It’s funny when I recall how she even broke the plate. Last week, my sister accidentally slipped the plate off her hands while she was doing the dishes. As she was trying to clean the plate, it broke. I remembered feeling pissed off shortly after that happened, but couldn’t really say much as I broke one too the same way a while back (Maybe it is like a Subi sister thing haha). But with that said, I am all the more glad that it happened, because if it weren’t for the broken plate, I won’t be inspired to write this, and I don’t know how many more weeks until my next blog post!

Well yes, that’s how it all happened. As I was taking an extra time reflecting on this, I was reminded of the many brokenness I have in my life. The past experiences that have broken my heart over and over again, the past failures that have left scars in me, the past disappointments that have let me down, and even the ongoing struggles in overcoming my weaknesses. Simply put, I am broken. I guess we all are in one way or another. Maybe some more than the other, but we have to admit that we all are simply imperfect creations.

In today’s world, just like how a seller would mark down the price of a defect product, we tend to believe that our self-worth and value goes down as we experience the brokenness in our lives. And so, more often that not, we try to put a mask on it, we cover it up with a smile, we conceal it with the so-called-notable deeds, expecting that others would only see all the good in us. I mean nowadays, where brokenness is always looked down on, it gets extremely difficult for someone to be so vulnerable with the real being they are – broken. But I realize that something that is broken will continue to exist as something that is broken if all we do is trying to hide it. It has to be surrendered to the hands who are capable of handling brokenness.

I think over the course of my life, I have encountered several experiences in which my heart, or self, was broken. I have shared with you guys in my previous posts of the different ways I was broken. My identity ever got blinded by words of people, my heart ever got broken, my sins ever, and even still right now, consume my inside and out. It definitely put me in a place where I felt like my life is just a mess. But right there, He picked me up and worked wonders with the imperfections I have in my life. Today, more often than not, my stories of brokenness have helped several people in one way or another. I was given opportunities of how broken I am, and yet by His amazing power, I am where I am today. Not barely surviving, but standing firm. There is beauty in brokenness. And I cannot thank God enough to put me in a place of brokenness, because it made me realize that I cannot do life on my own. That I need a hand who is mightier than any human can hold. That I need a mind who is wiser than any human capabilities in the world. That I need a strong tower who is never changing and never failing. And it definitely has brought me to a place where I am glad I do not have to deal with my brokenness myself.

“The world calls it a defect. Jesus calls it perfection.
The world calls it a mess. Jesus calls it a message.
The world calls it useless. Jesus calls it My vessel.
The world calls it waste. Jesus calls it precious.
The world calls it worthless. Jesus calls it priceless.
The world calls it weaknesses. Jesus calls it power.
The world calls it hole. Jesus calls it whole.
The world calls it brokenness. Jesus calls it beauty.
Jesus calls you beautiful.
Not despite of your brokenness, but because of it.”

I was trying to think of several things that we encounter day to day that needs to be broken before it is in full function. It didn’t go far. But here’s a couple. Just like a glowing stick, you will never shine the light that is in you before you break it. Just like a beautiful dish of eggs benedict, the beauty of #yolkporn will never be expressed fully before you break the yolk. And of course, not forgetting to snapchat it while you’re at it. Haha but in all seriousness, embrace your brokenness, people. Just like how my sister broke the plate in the process of cleansing it, God might break you in the process of moulding you into a better version of you. We gotta trust Him more. And really, if God can use me in my brokenness, He is more than able to use you in yours.

Let me end with this. There is a Japanese art called “Kintsugi” in which it puts together broken pieces of an object. It embraces the flawed and imperfect. In a world where people tends to hide their cracks, Kintsugi exposes the cracks instead. This form of art even highlights the cracks with dust of gold, silver or platinum. And as you might have guessed it, its value doesn’t go down. It goes up. Jesus is doing the same thing in your life. He puts together your broken pieces and embraces the cracks, defects and imperfections and turns them into something beautiful and highly valuable. You are broken. But you are beautiful.

Have a blessed Sunday!

Kimberly Subianto

 

beauty in brokenness

Feel free to download and share this photo! 🙂

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