unchanging hope in the everchanging world.

unchanging hope in the new year.jpg

Is it just me, or is time flying by faster and faster each year?! This is crazy. Can’t believe another year has passed. Anyways, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2017! Hope you all had a terrific first few days of the new year with family and friends. Let me tell you a little bit about mine, and I’ll let you describe how the first few days of 2017 made me feel.

 January 1, 2017. Woke up early and feeling quite sleepy from the new year’s eve countdown. Ate nothing but porridge the whole day. Plain porridge, FYI. Why? Read on, read on. The hardest part of the day is during lunch time for sure, when the whole fambam was gathered for lunch and everyone was just eating so much good food that I have missed so badly! And there I was, sitting at the end of the table, eating a bowl of plain porridge. Yum. Not. Well, I get through lunch and dinner was a breeze. In the evening, my mom and I went to the hospital and I got admitted for the night – yup, the first night of 2017! I cried a little bit inside :’)

January 2, 2017. Woke up wayyy too early at around 3:30 AM because my tummy is just screaming for the toilet. Oh, did I mention I took some kind of laxatives the night before so I can drain everything down the toilet? Okay, okay. Let me now tell you why I am in the hospital to begin with. So I my tummy has been so bloated and so gassy quite often for the past year or so. This started to concern me and my mom, and so we decided to consult with the doctor and conduct a colonoscopy upon his recommendation. Since my time in Indonesia is a crunch, there is no other perfect time to deal with all of this aside from the new year. Now with colonoscopy, the procedure itself is so quick and painless (they use anesthetics), but the preparation is not so fun. It involves countless visits to the bathroom and fasting, which means no food (and drink!), which means Kim is not happy. The worst thing about all of it is the colon hydrotherapy – no, I refrain myself from describing the whole process as it brings bad memories to mind (Google it if you are curious about it). At around 5 pm, I was brought in to the room and given anesthetics. I slept through everything and woke up an hour after. I was already pretty excited about going home that night and eating real food, but was told that I need to stay another night for some antibiotics. I cried a little bit more in the inside. But on the bright side, the result was nothing serious. I have a colon inspection due to some bacteria in the food I ate. I also found out that I have a relatively long colon that makes up quite a maze for the ‘substances’ to travel through – and this has been causing the gassy tummy. At the end of the day, I can be thankful that everything is alright.

January 3, 2017. Woke up numerous times in the middle of the night as the nurses need to check on the intravenous infusion and prepare for my medication. But that is okay. I am going home today, and that’s what matter. The doctor did his rounds in the morning and told me I am ready to go – I was elated. Not long after, my mom arrived and we waited for the whole administration process to complete. By noon, I was out of the hospital and there was a huge smile on my face.

Quite a start to the new year, eh? Well, you know what, as much as I sound all grumpy and annoyed and what not, I am glad my year started with this experience. I did tell you briefly what happened these past three days, but what I did not tell you is what happened inside of me.

Honestly, I was scared. I am not a big fan of hospitals and medical check-ups, especially when it was my own physical body that is up for the check. I was worried about my condition. What if they found something unusual in my colon? What if the blood test showed a positive somewhere in the report? Those are the thoughts that ran through my mind as I was lying on the bed waiting for the nurse to call me up for colonoscopy. I started praying and asked God for peace. Yes, I did ask for great results. But more than anything, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace knowing that in all circumstances, God is still God and He is still in control. I left the room that day wanting to hold fast to that hope I have in God and His sovereignty.

It’s funny how right on the next day I was reassured of that truth through a book I am currently reading, How’s Your Soul. It’s talking about how Jesus is the anchor of our soul, and that nothing else this world can offer will be able to take His place. It also talks about how an anchor doesn’t give a quick escape route. Instead, it keeps us still and unshakeable right there and then, in the midst of the storm and raging waves. It becomes our unchanging foundation when our surrounding is forever changing. Wow, that is just reassuring and gives so much hope as I start the new year. It’s true. Most of us wants an instant way out when faced with unwanted circumstances. As Judah puts it, we expect God to be the ‘helicopter Jesus’ – picking us up from whatever trouble we are in and out to the calmness. But no. He holds us tight and stays there with us, keeping us still and whispering in our eat that at the end of every storm, the tranquility will come.

This year, let us all come into the new years holding on to the never-changing hope that is an anchor to our soul. Let us be forever in His grip even when all that surrounds us is drowning, because we know that in Him is the safest place to be. Let us fix our gaze on Him who is all-knowing and sovereign over all. Let us place our trust in Him time and time again, knowing that what surprises us never surprises Him, and what is mystery to us is never a mystery to Him. Let us find ourselves anchored to a firm and secure foundation we have in Christ. Happy new year 2017!

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Hebrews 6:19



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